SHAFRAN

     Type: Lebanese
     Address: Spiridonievsky per., 12/9
     Phone: 737-95-00
     Web: www.restoran-shafran.ru


     Tverskaya
                                                                        
                                                                           Price: 1500 p/p

                                                                           Shit-o-meter: 

   


Have you ever wondered what Hezbollah eats? No no—not the flesh of Israelis (well, not for dinner anyway). They eat real WAR FOOD.

The year is 1948. Lebanon is in the grip of the Arab-Israeli war. Israeli tanks roll across the Lebanese landscape, literally squashing everything in their path—including extensive fields of chickpeas, garlic crops, and olive oil distilleries. In the aftermath, Hezbollah realized that their entire food source had been completely mashed. All they could do was scrape the mashed crops from the now barren earth and… voila! Hummus was born!

Moving on to late 1948, with Hezbollah refusing to quit, Israeli troops moved deeper into Lebanese territory. They came upon the dwelling of Tab Uli, a famous insurgent, who happened to be in his house at the time, and armed to the teeth with AK-47s, machetes and throwing-rocks. Having pre-empted the Israeli strike, he burst out of his back door and unleashed a rain of bullets, knives and rocks on the Israeli strike force, all the while screaming “Allah Akbar!!!”. Unfortunately, he was a terrible shot, and instead of hitting the Israelis, he completely massacred his own vegetable patch (most of which consisted of parsley). The Israelis, after executing the man, borrowed a fork and sampled some of the shredded vegetable patch. They were so impressed, that they named a salad after the Hezbollah rebel!

Shafran serves all these classic Hezbollah dishes in a modern, calm and funky atmosphere. Traditionally, Lebanese eat a lot of appetizers—called Meze—which can be served hot or cold (depending on which weapon was used to prepare the food). The Meze was quite delicious! We ordered 5 dishes for 4 people, and were moderate satisfied after this—the dishes included fried cheese, falafel, hummus, “cigars” and something else which I can no longer recall.

The ambient atmosphere here is definitely ambient enough to keep the inner Hezbollah inside you at bay. Though there were moments where I felt like using my knife to pierce an infidel’s heart rather than spreading my hummus on my bread with it… Unusually though, I was able to suppress these feelings. (Right: Lebanese restaurants - declaring jihad on sushi)

The main course was very average. I ordered some kind of bread and meat dish, which was basically an Il Patio pizza with no tomato paste. Pretty poor.

Can’t say I’ll be back to Shafran very soon, but I would recommend it as something different and interesting to try in Moscow. You’ll be able to convince your girlfriend to come here (despite the lack of sushi on the menu), as there is a generous offering of delicious salads.

Pricing is reasonable, and the place only really looses points for the average main course.

Thanks for reading, and Allah Akbar!

Wait.... No!! The Jihad has been compromised!!!