KOFE KHAUZ

                Type: Culinary Terrorist Organization

                Location: Unfortunately everywhere

                Phone: None (too many abusive calls)

                Web: http://www.coffeehouse.ru/

                Average price: 0 rubles p/p

                Shit-o-meter rating: -5 stars
          

BEST PLACE IN MOSCOW…. TO AVOID AT ALL COSTS!
This place is great for 3 reasons:
To laugh your ass off
To vent some pent-up anger
Recently discovered that it’s possible to sneak out of here without paying the bill!

What’s new:

Coffee House would like to introduce a new specialty drink—CAPPUCINO DISGUISED AS AN ESPRESSO!

On a recent visit, a waitress tried to convince me that the espresso which she brought to the table was in fact a cappuccino (which I my mum had ordered). When I explained that a cappuccino has froth, she replied: “Here is the froth” pointing to the (very sparse) crema on top of the espresso.

Perhaps I’m being too harsh, and I really do look like a fucking idiot (feel free to leave your comments
below).                                                                                                                                                                 

The famous Cofee House Cappucino

The list goes on—friend of mine (stupidly) decided to try one of the specialty drinks (one of those non-alcoholic super frappe strawberry lime cream chocolate thingys). Here’s the sequence of events:

Brought the alcoholic version

Brought a mojito
Brought the drink w/o ice cream (as it was supposed to have)
Brought the correct drink after 45 minutes—TASTED LIKE SHIT
Brought the bill with all 4 drinks on it

Every time I come here, I feel that I’ve lost a few days from the end of my life from the resent and hatred which it creates inside me.

With the opening of several new international coffee chains in Moscow, Coffee House should die a quick death. At least this is what 99% of Moscow’s population is praying for (the other 1% are employees of Coffee House).

Hopefully this review should teach them NEVER to offend my mum.