DIOSKURIYA

     Type: Georgian
     Address: Merzlyakovsky per., 2
     Phone: 290-69-08
     Web: http://www.dioskuriya.narod.ru/

     Arbatskaya

     Shit-o-meter:







Thanks to my buddy Napoleon_1812 for helping me with this review!

One thing I’ve noticed about Georgians—when they’re not killing innocent Ossetians, they’re either dancing or cooking good food!

This is a fairly good example.

Once you have passed the arch from Noviy Arbat, you will easily recognize the little red kit-house just facing the “Komnata za Chas” hotel—which I’m sure most of you are familiar with. At the entrance, take note of the toilet on the right side of the corridor (otherwise, just follow the smell when you need to go). Do not attempt to go to the bar if you don’t speak Georgian, you would disturb the regulars, and a sudden oppressive scent of garlic would force you to leave. Go straight to the first floor! If you are free to chose your table (Georgians pretend to be democratic), try to sit a far as possible from the orchestra (very loud with too rare short breaks).

Named after the Greek settlement in modern-day Abkhazia (which nowdays really defeats the purpose of this being a Georgian restaurant), Dioskuriya offers an interesting range of Georgian culinary specialties, however you will carefully avoid the “meat in the pot”, the composition of which fluctuates in accordance with what is left in the fridge. As well, keep away from the “khinkali” (pelmeni), you would be disappointed when you see it all fits on a tea plate. For the rest, foods and drinks are in the Moscow norm (price and quality). Though a little on the cheap side. One drawback: your favorite Russian beer is served warm and still (one might see a protest to Russian interests).

At Dioskuriya, the client “deserves the best”, and the chef will most likely spend 30 to 40 minutes to simmer the finest of Georgian kitchen for you. At least this is the reason they give for making you wait so long… Staff is always very busy, so be assertive (and patient). If not too tipsy after the Georgian wine, carefully recalculate the bill, mistakes are frequent. The waiter won’t be offended and will correct that straight away. (Left: Despite its popularity among the Georgian elite - "tie" is not on the menu at Dioskuriya)

On a recent visit my Russian “zlaya baba” girlfriend had to take assertiveness to new heights, when we found a “service change” on our bill! At first the waiter stood his ground bravely, but was shot down by the Russian aggression! The last words were “bring the bill without the service charge”, upon which the Georgian waiter humbly obeyed.

Recently also witnessed somewhat of a Russian incursion here! At least the 4 “muzhiki” behind us seemed like soldiers based on their extremely loud conversation. I immediately recognized the words “blyad” “хуй” “suka” “ёб” before I’d even had time to sit down!… Good place for practicing your “Mat”!

All in all, Dioskuriya is a not such a bad option for a Friday evening diner with friends if you have planed to continue the evening downtown.

Georgian hip-hop band “yo-Tbilisi” performing at Dioskuriya.
Their music is a fusion of Tu-Pac and krimanchuli, with kakheti influences.
Major hits include:
Svanuri Mgzawruli (Svanuri Gangsters)
Shen Bicho Khizambarelo (You bitch Khizambarelo!)
And the legendary
Hadilo Imereti (Literally “I broke your godmother”)