DURDIN

     Type: Russian
     Address: Volgogradsky Prospekt 4A
     Phone: 780-0139
     Web: www.durdin.ru

     Proletarskaya

     Price: 1200 rub p/p

     Shit-o-meter: 0 stars

What can one expect when paying a visit to a “Russian beer restaurant”??? Here’s what I was expecting:
Shit beer (served warm)
Shit food
Shit service
Shit music (loud house music)
Everything nyetu
Our table reservation would not be found
Place full of loud idiots
Ridiculously expensive (i.e. 300 rub for Olivier)

Were my expectations fulfilled...?
ABSOLUTELY NOT!

The place was rocking! When we got there, there was a traditional Russian band (gramoshka, violin, piano, bass) playing jazzed-up Russian folk songs, which created a wonderful pre-Revolutionary style atmosphere. Décor was tasteful and impressive. Not walls hung with endless, irrelevant bullshit. No references to the USSR. I found myself taken aback, half smiling as I took a seat.

Akh, vot ono chto! Shirokaya, dobraya russkaya dusha!

We ordered two house beers (made on premises) at 100 rubles each, selyodka and kavkazsky fried cheese. After a long week at work, I was craving a nice cold beer. I noticed, that we had a trainee serving us… “Here we go”, I thought to myself. Entrées arrived before beers! Grrrr. My suspicions about the level of service were beginning to take form. Thankfully the beers arrived shortly after. I’d have to admit—that was the best tap beer I’ve had in Moscow—fantastic taste, temperature. Drank it in 45 seconds and immediately ordered another. The cheese and selyodkya was completely bland, but the beer was so good that I decided to ignore this. Ordered the borsch (the ultimate benchmark of Russian food). It was sweet, but also utterly bland. So I gave them a LAST CHANCE. I ordered the pork ribs. (Don't worry, Durdin is not your TYPICAL Russian restaurant as the one pictured to the right...)

Meanwhile, the band was playing their folk songs, and 80% of the patrons broke into unanimous song! Wow! I love it when Russians to that! The crowd was mainly after-work professionals—both young generation and old. Yet EVERYONE knew the words, and everyone could sing these songs in tune. This, in my opinion, is a fantastic Russian trait. Their love of cultural tradition, and respect for it no matter what age.

Next band up was an 80s disco-style band. When I saw the tackiness of this band, I knew what we were in for… An onslaught of cheesiness. I could feel my ears starting to bleed already… They came out with a cracker of a song, which got the russkies out of their chairs dancing in their awkward russky style. The song was “Bukhgalter”. I noticed one nerdy guy in glasses with trousers pulled up high, doing a robot-style dance to this tune! Normally, I would shudder at this sight before dry-reaching, but I was so engulfed by the russkaya dusha, that I only managed a chuckle.

Pork ribs arrived. They were HUGE! I’ve never had a large portion of food in a restaurant in Moscow… let alone in a RUSSIAN restaurant. They were absolutely SPOT ON!

As we were leaving, I heard the band start playing “Letyashey Pokhodkoy”. The dancefloor was already full... Based on the amounts of vodka being consumed here, this place was bound to get messy later on. Definitely a sign that I will return.

I’ve always pondered the concept of a “Russian Restaurant”. What is it? How can it appeal to Westerners? Is it possible to successfully open such a restaurant in a Western country? What should the décor be? What food should it serve? Durdin is the answer to all my questions. Forget Taras Bulba. This should be the ONLY place for bringing foreign guests for traditional Russian dinners.

UPDATE: Tried the one at Polyanka. Not the same. Just a normal “pivnoy”, nothing remarkable. Beer even tasted different. Would recommend trying the one at Proletarskaya first.

UPDATE 2: The Russians have done it! Who would've thought? They've proven themselves capable of the highest form of customer service. I was here on Saturday night. The food and service have vastly improved. The beer is out-of-this-world good. The music was much the same. The people dancing - OMG. I've never been so close to pissing myself with laughter as I was when the two tonne beast with gold teeth got up and started hip thrusting with a 59-year old tyotka in leopard print dress with fuzzy perm. Classic stuff. Love this place. (Urrrraaaaa rebyata! We got a Zero Star rating!!)