In the past 4 years, I’ve had a lot of dining experiences in Moscow. It’s got to the point where it’s so bad, that it’s almost funny. I thought I’d share these experiences with you.
I’m not a wealthy middle aged expat. Therefore, there is no point in me reading endless restaurant reviews on Expat.ru or the Moscow Times about the Pushkin café and how sumptuous the roasted duck with cranberry sauce is, and how delicious the cold strawberry and pepper soup is. There’s just no point — I can’t afford it, and probably never will!
The aim is to present a restaurant review for real people. People like me, who order real food—fatty, meaty, heavy, filling. Not that poofter stuff that you get at Novikov restaurants. I also never order entrees, soups or (especially) salads. This is inevitably a waste of money, as food in Moscow is 99% of the time crap. If I’m still hungry after the meal, I’ll go get a shaurma or Stardogs.
Maximum budget for a meal—2000 rubles. If you spend more than this on a meal in Moscow, you’re getting ripped off.
RATING SYSTEM
I’m convinced that no restaurant in this city deserves a rating above 0 stars, no matter how good the shaurmas are. So here are the possible ratings:
Shit-o-meter:
0 stars
The highest possible rating. On par with Darbar or Skazka Vostoka
-1 star (that’s a MINUS)
Probably somewhere with decent food, but a smelly waiter etc.
Rating continues until…
-5 stars
A minus 5 is achievable only by those places which could be considered as bad as Kofe House. So far, this hasn’t been achieved by any other place in the Milky Way.
