JOHN BULL PUB

     Type: Pub
     Address: Krasnaya Presnya, 25
     Phone: 8499 252-5540
     Web: john-bull-pub.rmcom.ru

     Ulitsa 1905 Goda

     Price: 1500 rub. p/p

     Shit-o-meter:   -4 stars
  

This review was sent in by an Italian under the nickname Eddy_Huntington. I would say it’s an example of bravery and courage in the face of the Russian Restaurant Regime

Should you come across ulitsa Krasnaya Presnya, near the metro station of 1905 Goda, your attention on a sunny day would be for sure captured by a nice set of tables outside in a kind of "private garden" mediocre attempt: so was mine.

This is the outer area of John Bull Pub; a place which, for its name and external aspect, promises to recreate the classical Irish pub atmosphere in the center of Moscow. So, at least I hoped.

During those days I was starting to date a pretty Ukrainian lady whom I met less than a week before in a disco-bar. My idea was to bring her in a setting more familiar to my western European taste, in order to bring her nicely out of Muscovite context.

Even if at a first glance the inside was only trying to recreate the typical pub setting (no darts, no sports, not that classical easy atmosphere...) only by the use of furniture and moquettes [possibly a word of Italian origin? -ЯЯЯ], I immediately got this was just a usual restaurant in disguise. But I gave a look at the menu and it resembled, at least, the kind of food I was expecting.

So I gave the appointment there and waited for her at the upper floor with a bouquet of fresh flowers. She came and a great romantic dinner was beginning. I soon started to learn her tastes: she completely loved red wine.

Now you know, I'm Italian, and I can assure you that in Moscow you often happen to buy for 30€ a bottle of wine which, in Italy, we wouldn't use to clean floors. But that was the way (after all women love us to squander money on them) and I ordered something from my country: out of a whopping choice of TWO different bottles!

When the waiter came, and opened the bottle to let me try the wine, hell begun.

The wine was completely A.C.I.D. - undrinkable - ready for litter.

I, of course, refused the bottle, at which time the waiter told me that I still had to pay the same for it!!! Completely shaken by such arrogance and ignorance, I asked (and my Russian was worse than today's one) what was the purpose of "testing" then. He couldn't answer (maybe he thought it was some kinda odd ceremony of us western barbarians) but then he tried the wine by himself from the woman's glass (!) and said it was "horosho"... imagine my face at a similar guy (must have been 22-23 years old) telling me (Italian) that he "thought" it was "horosho"... when he heard that I had worked for an important wine consortium in my country he just quit... to come back and tell that he had no "permission" to make changes. This started a 30min tiring negotiation on my side. (Right: Akh khorosho! More precisely a 1965 Vintage Borbeaux. If it's combustible it's drinkable)

I save you the scorn of this and just tell the conclusion: I should have paid half the bottle price and, then, I would have ordered a couple of glasses of another wine.

You can imagine how romantic the evening got... at least the woman appreciated the fact that I wasn't going to take any rubbish from anybody, but, hey! At which mood cost???

So, when I asked for the bill, the surprise! It was written I had to pay the FULL bottle plus the glasses!

I went mad and started another 20min negotiation, asking for the manager (who didn't show up), and telling I was "no fool". After this, which completely ruined my mood even during the following promenade with the lady, the agreement became: you pay the full bottle and we give the glasses for free. Some of you, will call this "half a miracle". I call this bullshit.

What else... the food wasn't disgusting but I wasn't keen on it either and the service was poor.

This place really deserves a -5 for driving the customer nuts, but I'll give it a -4, considering that, if my date ordered a normal, healthy, vodka, all this hell wouldn't maybe have been raised.

Avoid this place carefully. And never go there with a date!

And never pay for chicks at dinner—or at least order FOR them. Let them fuck up their own dinner rather than everyone else’s

 Our reviewer is lucky the waiter wasn't French!

















UPDATE: I've personally been to investigate John Bull Pub. I went, however, to the one at Smolenskaya. Reasonable place! Decent service! Nice beer! Not too bad food. BUT! WHY THE FUCK ARE THERE DANCING GIRLS?!?!?!?! You're sitting there having a chat over a pint, and suddenly, your ears are torpedoed by a mighty blast of sound. An cacophonous onslaught! (I think they call it music). Before you've got you wits about you (after your pint glass has exploded from the sonic boom), a group of tyolki appear in very scant clothing and start making "sexy dancing" next to your table, all the while looking at their reflection in the window behind you... WHY?!?!?! It's a f*cking pub for f*ck's f*cking sake!!!! It's like going to a strip club, where suddenly they switch on Discovery Channel to a program about Baboons giving birth. The organiser of this should be slaughtered! The rating above stands, as it was a different reviewer and a different place.